October 21, 2010

If This is the Last Time You See the Ones You Love

Have you ever thought of losing someone you love? It could be your best friend, your brother or sister, your cousin, your nephew, your uncle, your mother or father, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your husband or wife, or even your child. Sad, isn’t it? But have you ever thought of losing someone you love, and you don’t even have the chance to tell him/her you love him/her? Double sad, I guess.

I had the greatest mother in the world. Well, I believe that everyone think that his/her mother is the best in the world, and so do I. My mother loved cooking. She knew very well my favorite food; fried chicken. Therefore, she always kept some chickens in the refrigerator and fried one for me whenever I didn’t want to eat what she had cooked (normally it was vegetable, and I don’t really like veggies).

My mother died in October 2008 of a brain cancer. We found out that she had this cancer early in January 2008. She fell from the stair at home and she couldn’t walk after that. The next morning she said that she had a terrible headache. My father and I then decided to take her to the hospital.

In the hospital, she had some tests to diagnose what happened to her legs. But it was a surprise. The doctor found not just one bumps, but three, in my Mom’s brain. Also, another bump in her lung and the doctor also said that she began to have osteoporosis. My Mom needed two specialists; the nerve and lungs doctors. They did some other tests and they found out that they were all cancers.

My Mom underwent six chemotherapy treatments for about 6 months. During those periods, she had to return to the hospital every 3 weeks. After she had her chemotherapy, she normally didn’t want to eat because she had nauseous and it lasted for a week. So, practically my Mom only had 2 weeks of being normal before she had the next chemotherapy.

In June 2008, all the 6 chemotherapy were completed and the doctor said that there was no more cancer in her body. We were all happy, sure. But it didn’t last very long.

In July, my Mom had again a terrible headache. She couldn’t even get up from the bed because looking around made her dizzy so bad. We decided again to take her to the hospital. And guess what? The cancers came back and they were bigger than before. The doctors thought to have other chemotherapy treatments, but they saw my Mom’s weak condition and the cancers that returned very soon. They gave up and they asked the family to take my Mom home.

It was early in the morning when I accompanied my Mom in her room. It was 3 months since she returned from the hospital the last time. She was already weak, very weak. She didn’t recognize anyone. She didn’t speak nor move her body. She depended on other people.

I was sitting beside her. I spoke to her. I said that I loved her and that if she wanted to give up, she could. Not so long after that, my Mom’s body shook a lot. In the middle of it, I heard her said my name, and in another minute, she didn’t move at all. I was in total panic. I shook her body. I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. There was no more beat in her lungs. She left me forever.

What I remember the most of my Mom is when she took care of me when I was sick. It was in May 2008. She was already sick and weak. She was at home after her chemotherapy and I was in terrible fever. I lay in my bed, felt so cold but my body kept sweating. Beside me, I could hear my Mom crying. She prayed and she wished that my fever disappeared. She took care of me, putting some ice to make me feel better. She made me hot tea. And yes, she couldn’t stop crying and wishing that she could replace me and had the fever.

I know my Mom loved me so much. She gave me love and everything I needed. She never complained nor got angry when I made her annoyed. She always smiled and she laughed when I told her jokes, even though it wasn’t funny at all. She always knew when to give me extra money when I ran out of money in my pocket. She cooked me delicious food to bring to school. She waited for me at the terrace when I hadn’t returned home when it was raining. She cleaned my ears and brushed my hair when I began to be pampered. My Mom had done a lot of things for me.

And even though I appreciate what she had done for me, I never directly say ‘thank you’ to her. I never directly say ‘I love you’ to her. I knew she didn’t mind for that, and she didn’t even expect anything in return for doing those things. And yet, now I regret why I didn’t tell her I love her, nor say ‘thank you’ when she cooked my meal.

So if  this is the last time you see the ones you love, what would you do? Wouldn’t it be too late? Why do you need to wait so much time just to say ‘I love you’?

Therefore, don’t regret yourself. Whenever you have the chance, tell the ones you love how you love them. Show them your love. Make them know how much you love them. Make them feel the warmth of your love. Because once you lose this time, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Because those person you love may leave you forever next month, next week, or even tomorrow, and you won’t have the chance to say how you love them so much.

An ‘I love you’ may be just a simple word. It is easy to pronounce, yet sometimes difficult to say. It is even more difficult to prove. So go ahead now! Tell the ones you love how much you love them. Do beautiful things to prove your love. They don’t need to be complicated or expensive things. Just by appreciating what they have done for you has already shown that you love them. Say ‘thank you’ whenever they do good things for you. And if they hurt you, pray. Pray so that God will open their heart so they can feel your love inside them.

Love is, after all, the answer. Let the people around you know you love them.

P.S.: I love you.

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