March 19, 2011

The Baby

I think it’s been a common habit to ask a newlywed, “Are you pregnant yet?” I don’t know how many people have asked me this kind of question (and honestly, I don’t count either), but yes, this question has been heard so many times since I married Antonio last year.

And what do I say when people ask me this question? Some normal answer, actually. But it is the real answer. Well, of course I want to have a baby with him. Can you imagine how I feel when I know my friends are pregnant or when they just have their babies? Of course I want mine, too. I wonder how it will look like. Will it look more like me? I honestly hope no (I hope it looks more like Antonio than me). I wonder how it feels when I touch its tiny hands. Will it have lots of hair just like Antonio and I? I bet it will (just hope it won’t have too much hair, though).

I want a baby, but not now, I guess. I mean, there are lots of things to prepare before I have my baby. Besides, Antonio and I have just united and started to live together. I know we have been together for more than 3 years, but we actually spent just 3 months to be really together. And so, we want to enjoy our own time at this moment, just he and I. After all, we are still young and we think we have enough time to enjoy our newlywedhood before we finally decide to have a baby.

At first, it was I who insisted him to have a baby soon. When he said, “We should wait,” it felt that he didn’t want to have a baby. I was sad, of course. How could he refuse to have a baby? But he explained me, again and again, that having a baby needs huge responsibility and that he wants the best for our baby. He said that we need to be well prepared before we have a baby. Food is not enough. We also need to think about his future. What about his education? What about encouraging his talent? What about his life, in general?

And so, after thinking about it again and again, I finally agreed with him. I think, having a baby now will only make it suffer. It isn’t that we don’t want it, but we want it to be completely happy. After all, I still need to be accustomed to living here first. There are lots of things I need to learn, especially learning how to cook because cooking is surely not my interest. And when we are ready for it, we will definitely ‘make’ it.

But well, even though we plan not to have the baby now, if God thinks that we are both ready for the baby, well… then let it be. We will happily and excitedly welcome our beautiful baby. I just hope that Antonio won’t name our baby Pascualito like what he wants it to be. I hate that name!

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