March 18, 2011

Dear My Future Baby

I am thinking about you again today. Perhaps because I feel alone here and the only thing I can play with are the turtles your Dad bought for me the other day. I cannot stop thinking about you lately and imagining you being here with us. I have seen many babies since I arrived here, and they are all cute (but I bet none of them is as cute as you will be), and it makes me want you even more. Having you inside me will be the best experience for me. I will certainly enjoy the moments when you move, or when you start kicking me. It will hurt, I am sure. But I will happily tell your Dad and ask him to feel you.

I imagine when you are about to come, and your Dad and I are busy preparing your room. Well, I guess it’s better to paint your room when you are 5 months old (inside me, of course), and so we know already whether you are a boy or a girl. If you are a boy, I am thinking of painting your room red. I don’t know why some parents paint the room blue when they know they will have a baby boy. And if you are a girl, I will paint your room also red. Well ok, I love red, and that’s why I want your room to be painted red. I hope your Dad won’t mind about it.

I am also thinking of the decoration we will put in your room. What do you think about animals? It’s kind of normal to put animal theme in baby’s room. But I am thinking of using Spongebob theme for your room. You know, I am a huge fan of Spongebob—and the other cartoons as well—and so I won’t mind accompanying you watching cartoons later because I know I won’t get bored of them, too.

And about the toys? Well, I think it’s too classic to give your toy cars if you are a boy, or Barbie if you are a girl. When I was a child, I had toy cars and I shaved my Barbie’s hair. I guess, I will buy you lots of dolls or animals, so you can also learn about them. Perhaps I can also buy some puppet dolls to be used when I tell you bedtime stories at night.

You know how I want you so much. I really can’t wait to have you in my arms and play with your tiny hands. But seeing the things here, I also think that maybe it’s not the best time for you to come. To be honest, I am not ready for you. I still need to learn many things here. My Spanish is terrible still, and I haven’t learned anything about babies. I know your grandma will help me when you are here. But I want to give you the best, and it’s just not love. It’s so much more.

I am sorry, my Dear. I think you have to wait a little more to be here. I know you want to be with us as much as we do, and believe me, I want you more than anything right now. But I love you so much—and so does your Dad—but we need more time until we are finally together.

I always pray for you, that I will be a great Mom for you. And remember, I always want you.


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almaiena said...

Your letter has touched my heart, de..Sabar ya, bebe..Time will arrive when it is the time :)

Dea Angan said...

Thank you... I know it will come when God thinks we are ready... :)

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