March 19, 2011

A Letter for My Mom

Dear Mom,

It’s been 2.5 years since God called you, and I have never spent any single day without missing you. If I were just a little bit more selfish than what I am now, I would certainly wish you back to be with me. But I won’t. I cannot see you suffer that pain again, the suffering I know you had always tried to hide from me, but you couldn’t.

If only you were here with me, Mom, you would see that my dream has come true. Remember how I used to tell you many times that I wanted to go to Spain? Now I am here, Mom. I am sure you can see from above how I am right now. Yes, in most part of me, I am fine.

I am not mad at you, Mom. You promised me before that you would be there on my wedding day. I remember how I begged you to stay strong and be with me on that day. I know I had been so selfish by begging you this. But in the end, I only wished God the best for you. And so, He took you away.

I realize now how I always forgot to cherish your presence, your love and even your smile. You were always there for me when I was on the top or when I was down. I realize now how I had been so unthankful when I got mad at you because you didn’t cook the food I liked. But then, when I didn’t touch the food, you offered me my favorite food just to make me fill my stomach.

I really miss the time when you waited for me on that chair on a rainy day. You worried about me that much, didn’t you? And when I got sick, you cried and wished God to transfer my illness to you. I remember how I made fun of your bold head after your chemotherapy, but you didn’t get angry at me. You laughed and even asked me to do something funny with your head.

I know I miss you even more when I am sad, and I really wish you would come to me and hug me. I miss that caress you used to do on my head. I miss that smile you used to give. I really miss you, Mom.

But I know you are happy up there. That’s the best place for you. I believe God always takes care of you and gives you happiness that you have never felt in this world. I promise you, Mom, I will make you proud of me. I know you can see me.

Love always,
Your daughter
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