June 26, 2012

God is ALWAYS Responding

I was a kind of depressed this afternoon because I failed to achieve that one thing I really want to get in my life at the moment. I have done EVERYTHING I know to attract it, yet that one thing is not mine. Have you ever felt so depressed that for one time in your life, you knew you were able to actually eat a person?? Well, that’s how I really felt.

I cried like a baby crying for its pacifier – weird analogy, I know – and during that desperate moment, I questioned God, madly, “What’s wrong with me??” I didn’t expect God to respond me, or perhaps, I just didn’t know how God would respond and how I would be able to know it. I was so mad at myself and the situation that caused me in terrible pain.

Tired of crying, I went to sleep. When I woke up, I felt a little better. I decided to sit in front of my computer, turned it on and looked around my Facebook, ‘reading’ what other people were doing. I didn’t normally pay attention to the ticker – the one which puts all people’s updates – yet for no reasons at all, I took a look at it because one of my friends had just ‘liked’ a photo. And the photo says:

There’s nothing wrong with you; there’s a lot wrong with people who judge you.

I took a deep breath and I suddenly felt God was responding to me through that quote. It was as if He answers my mad question and explains me why. Soon after I read that quote, I felt a lot more relieved, as if a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

Even though I don’t get that thing this time, I know a lot better thing is being given to me now. Just like what Antonio said when he tried to calm me down when I was crying, “Don’t worry. People are only making weird excuses. You’re a great person and you will absolutely get even better thing than this one.”

I know Antonio was right, and I know God is giving me something a lot better than the one I asked for. I do still believe in Him, as much as He believes in me. And I do believe that God has got beautiful plans for me and He is giving me that one thing I desire when the right time comes.

I just need to believe in me. I know I do.

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